Translation:

Seven, referring to the traditional number of days (7) during which one would “sit shiva”.

Definition:

The shiva period is the seven day period during which mourners remain at home, receive visitors and hold services.

This is an important stage in the Jewish mourning process, as it allows the mourners time to move from the immediate impact of the death back towards the reality of life. According to rabbinic tradition, mourners are defined as the father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, and spouse, although modern family structures often lead other relatives to consider themselves mourners as well.

The shiva period begins immediately after the burial or cremation. There are many customs that may be observed during the shiva period. If the mourners have engaged in kri’a, the tearing of garments which is an outward representation of the metaphorical tearing of one’s heart and soul upon a loss, they may continue to wear the rent garment throughout shiva. There are special low chairs upon which the mourners sit to represent the low state of mind and emotions. They also mirror Job who sat ‘to the ground’ as he was comforted by friends after a number of calamities (Job 2:13). As on Yom Kippur, the mourner does not wear leather shoes, which is considered a comfortable luxury; therefore refraining from doing so demonstrates both personal degradation and the shunning of vanity. This shunning of vanity is also shown by refraining from bathing, specifically from indulgent bathing. One can perform basic acts of cleanliness, but should not bathe for pleasure. In addition, mourners traditionally do not adorn themselves with cosmetics, cut their hair or shave. This has all contributed to the custom of covering the mirrors, which in part acts as a way to help dispense with any tendencies towards vanity, although the precise origin of this custom is unknown. In addition, joyous activities, such as studying Torah, are to be avoided. During the entirety of the shiva, a special candle remains lit and burns for seven days.

Each day of the shiva there will be a service in the evening (some shiva houses will also have morning and afternoon services) during which the mourners will recite kaddish. This service can be led by a rabbi or by a lay member of the community. Sometimes short eulogies will be read or extemporaneous memories of the deceased shared. As a minyan (a group of ten over the age of 13) should be present for the mourners to recite kaddish, many people make a special effort to pay a shiva call in time for the service.

Modern reality often means that sitting shiva for the full seven days is not realistic. In these cases, it can be prudent to shorten the shiva period. “This might entail sitting for only three days, based on the tradition that it is the first three days after the funeral that are the most important period (Palestinian Talmud Mo’ed Katan III, 82b), or for whatever length is appropriate to the situation.” (Faith & Practice, Jonathan Romain, page 63)

Sources:

• Aaron indicates that one must refrain from feasting while mourning (Lev 10:19)
• Amos refers to the end of a mourning period as a “bitter day” (Amos 8:10)
• The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning, Maurice Lamm

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