Definition:

Within Judaism, a wedding is the ceremony that enters a couple into a sacred covenant in which they are responsible to help one another build a home together.

A Jewish wedding may take place at any time of day on most days except Shabbat (Friday sundown through Saturday sundown), festivals (again, sundown through sundown), the intermediate days of Sukkot or Pesach, most of the Omer period (between Pesach and Shavuot) and the three weeks preceding Tisha B’Av. Before setting a date for a Jewish wedding, it is useful to consult a rabbi, particularly if that rabbi will be officiating. Jewish weddings often take place in a synagogue, although they can be held in almost any location. UK law allows a Jewish wedding to take place in any locale, indoor or outdoor, so long as it does not hold a license for civil weddings.

Each Jewish wedding can have its unique style and flair, but will all contain four basic elements. The first is the chuppah, the wedding canopy under which the ceremony will take place. This can take many forms, from a tallit to a specially created cloth. One interpretation of the chuppah is that it represents the home the couple is about to establish, open on all sides like Abraham’s tent (Gen 18) to show the hospitality they will extend. The second basic element is the sheva brachot, or seven blessings. These blessings include the blessing over wine, praises to God for creating the world and marriage, references to the Garden of Eden and hope for the future. The third element is the giving of the ring accompanied by a declaration of betrothal – “Behold, you are consecrated to me by this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel”. One tradition is to have a plain band of precious metal; this developed to ensure that the ring could be accurately valued. In some Jewish communities both partners will exchange rings and declarations; in others, only the groom will give a ring to the bride. The fourth essential element is the ketubah, the marriage contract. Originally, the ketubah was designed to protect the wife against arbitrary divorce by guaranteeing her monetary compensation if the marriage dissolved. Other technical matters were included in the ketubah, such as the wife’s dowry and the husbands obligations to the wife. Modern ketubot can have many different wordings, and couples often choose phrasings which reflect a more egalitarian relationship.

There are many other traditions which may be brought into a Jewish wedding. Often, upon entering the chuppah, there is a ritual of circling. Originally, the bride would circle the groom seven times, reflecting Jeremiah 31:22 which says “A woman shall go around a man.” In contemporary weddings, the circling is often shared by the couple. There are a number of ideas as to where this tradition originated, from the circle symbolizing the strength of the union to the combination of the circle and the number seven providing strength against ill omens and bad spirits. Another common tradition amongst Jewish weddings is the breaking of the glass as the finale of the ceremony. Again, there are many thoughts as to the origins of this tradition. These include the idea that the loud sound of the breaking glass followed by the loud ‘Mazal tov!’ of the gathered guests would ward off any bad spirits. Also, it is a reminder that once things are broken, they can never be the same again. There are some who say that it is broken in recollection of the destruction of the temples in Jerusalem. Whatever the true derivation, for many, this is a defining symbol of the completion of a Jewish wedding.

Sources:

• God says that a person should not be alone so creates a ‘helper’, Gen 2:18
• “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine”, Song of Songs 2:16
• Betrothal blessing, Babylonian Talmud Ketubbot 7b
• God and the angels officiating at the wedding of Adam and Eve, Pirkei de Rabbi Eliezer 12
• Story of trying to make matches with moral that God considers making suitable matches as difficult as dividing the Sea of Reeds, Genesis Rabbah 68:4
• Marriage being the re-uniting of two halves of one soul, Zohar 1.91b
• The New Jewish Wedding, Anita Diamant
• Creative Jewish Wedding Book: A Hands-on Guide to New and Old Traditions, Ceremonies and Celebrations, Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer
• Mazal Tov: The Rituals and Customs of a Jewish Wedding, Rabbi Dr Michael Shire

Related Items: